; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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