i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
