I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
