I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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