Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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