Grow some girl-balls and come out already
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
