she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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