ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize