i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
