Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
