Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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