You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
