The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
