let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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