Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
