wrigley field is MILF paradise
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
