I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
