ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
