I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How does one acquire holy water?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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