If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
