so that wasnt chicken after all
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
