It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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