Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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