there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
