Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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