should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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