It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize