Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
