Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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