I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
