Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am available for nakedness
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
