i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
