I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
