I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
