PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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