it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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