Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
