i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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