a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize