WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
