make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
