Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
