I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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