Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
