Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
