i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
