true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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