Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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