remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
