Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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