are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
