I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
