it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
