And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
