Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
