I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
