ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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