i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
